Alright, let’s talk about this star business, this “astrologynova” thing. I don’t know all them fancy words, but I can tell you what I know. It’s all about them stars and how they mess with us, or maybe not mess with us, who really knows for sure?
You know, like when the moon is full, some folks get all worked up, can’t sleep, act a fool. My old man, bless his soul, he used to say it was the moon making the cows crazy, but maybe it was making him crazy too! So, this astrology stuff, it’s kinda like that, but with all them stars and planets. They say them things got power, and they can tell you about your life, your love, your money…everything!
They got these things called Horoscopes. I saw one in the newspaper once, used it to wrap fish, but then my neighbor, she told me it was important. Said it tells you what’s gonna happen. Like, “Oh, today you gonna find a dollar on the road,” or “Don’t go near no ladders.” I don’t put much stock in it, but some folks swear by it. They read it every day, like it’s the gospel truth.
Then there’s this Horoscope Chart thing. Now that’s where it gets complicated. They ask you all sorts of questions, like when you were born, where you were born, even what time! Like I remember what time I popped out, I was too busy squalling! But they say all that stuff matters. They take all that information and draw up this chart, looks like a chicken scratched it out, and they say it tells you all about you. Your personality, your future, who you should marry… the whole shebang.
And they got different kinds of readings too. Like, some tell you about your love life. They call it a Love Life Forecast. Like, if you gonna find a fella, or if that fella you got is gonna stick around. I tell ya, if you need a star chart to tell you if a man’s good for ya, then you got bigger problems! But hey, some folks like to know. They want them “important dates for romantic or social activity.” Me? I just went to the barn dance and hoped for the best.
- They can tell you if you gonna be rich.
- They can tell you if you gonna be healthy.
- They can even tell you when to plant your corn, though I always just planted it when the ground felt right.
And there’s this Tarot spread thing. Now, that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. They got them cards with pictures on ‘em, and they lay ‘em out all fancy, and they tell you a story. It’s supposed to be “comprehensive and informative,” covering all the “important aspects of your life and the likely outcomes.” Sounds like a lot of hooey to me, but like I said, some folks eat it up with a spoon.
They talk about the Sun, Moon, and Planets, and how they “align” and all that. Like, when the sun is in this place, and the moon is in that place, it means something. I don’t know, maybe it does. All I know is, the sun comes up in the morning, and it goes down at night. And the moon, well, it just does its thing. But these folks, they say it’s all connected, and it all affects us.
And they got these free sample astrology reports too. Trying to get you hooked, I reckon. They give you a little taste, and then you gotta pay for the rest. Like them snake oil salesmen used to come through town, promising to cure everything with a little bottle of colored water. Maybe this astrology stuff is the same, maybe it ain’t. I ain’t here to judge.
They say it’s the “study of the movements and relative positions of celestial bodies interpreted as having an influence on human affairs and the natural world.” Sounds mighty fancy, don’t it? But to me, it’s just stars. Pretty to look at, but I don’t know if they’re telling me what to do. I just try to live a good life, be kind to folks, and hope for the best. That’s my kind of “astrologynova.” You do what you think is right, and let the stars do what they’re gonna do. And if you wanna know what’s gonna happen this week, just look out the window. If it’s raining, you’ll probably get wet. If it’s sunny, well, enjoy it while it lasts.
Personalized daily readings for free? They say you can “get started here”. Sounds like a bunch of malarkey to me, but if you’re into that sort of thing, go ahead. Just don’t come crying to me when the stars don’t tell you what you wanna hear.
I reckon this “astrologynova” thing is just another way for folks to try and make sense of the world. We all want answers, we all want to know what the future holds. Maybe the stars got ‘em, maybe they don’t. But at the end of the day, you gotta make your own choices, live your own life. And that’s the truth, whether you read it in the stars or not.
Tags: [Astrology, Horoscope, Star Chart, Love Life Forecast, Tarot, Sun, Moon, Planets, Celestial Bodies, Personalized Readings]